Episode 40 - Fost-Adopt Disruption
What’s a disruption? We give our thoughts on a fost-adopt placement that ends up getting reunified. This is not something we have experienced ourselves so we’d love to hear listener feedback.
What’s a disruption? We give our thoughts on a fost-adopt placement that ends up getting reunified. This is not something we have experienced ourselves so we’d love to hear listener feedback.
Michelle Diaz said,
June 30, 2008 @ 12:57 am
haha, the girls told me about the why tickets. one started asking why, and the other said “no, you can’t ask ‘why’, you don’t have anymore why tickets!”
very clever!! i love it!! =)
Jen said,
July 1, 2008 @ 11:02 am
Hi, Thanks for talking about this. Your email does not work though. I think our whole family will greive in differant ways. I should mention I just lost my mother right before we heard the disruption may happen. So your are right that I am thinking about how I will handle this also.
Jenn
Jenn and James said,
July 1, 2008 @ 12:11 pm
You did have a disruption though, just no kids in the home when it happened, right? Could you talk about what you went through when the boys left? Did you feel because reunification was likely, it was easier?
Tim said,
July 1, 2008 @ 4:26 pm
So sorry to hear about your mother. Wow, bad timing all around.
The two boys that were with us came to our home with the intention to reunify them to their mother. So we knew in advance they would be leaving. So though not technically a disruption, we still grieved their absence. Maybe will talk about that a little more.
Thanks for letting us know the email was down. It should be working now.
koo in MN said,
July 3, 2008 @ 11:04 am
you guys are so thoughtful. i appreciate all your podcasts and reflections. you are putting such good things out there for all of us to think about. thanks again.
Emily said,
October 1, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
I am glad you addresed this issue. What we had wasn’t really a disruption but it was unexpected and unwanted. We had been parents to our FTA daughter for 12 months (since she was 5 days old when I picked her up at the hospital) when we were very unexpectedly called on the phone by her social worker and told that they were going to move to place her with a half sister that had come into the picture out of nowhere the month before. She didn’t leave our home until she was 14 months old. It was very very difficult, as everyone involved in the case had expected that we would be adopting her within the year. She had had no contact whatsoever with an member of her bio family since her first week of life.
We had 2 other children in the home the whole time - 1 FTA daugher who we had completed adoption on (almost 3 y/o), and 1 FTA son not yet adopted (almost 2y/o). They were both very attached to her, as were my husband and I. Her departure from our home was excruciatingly painful as you may understand. Our whole family did grieve intensely, including our other 2 kids. Various behaviors changed when she left, and some still are out of order, now 3 months later). We now have a new foster baby who is 4m/o (no expectation fo adoption), He visits bio family 3 times a week. The kis are very aware of his location at all times and when he goes for his all day long weekend visit, their behavior still sometimes is out of whack.
Just wanted to add my story.Children may recover faster than we think they will; but they are affected by this type of thing. Losing a sibling who you have spent every day loving for over a year is completely different than seeing a long distance family member a few times a year.